Working, working, working mom guilt
This interesting phenomenon keeps happening in my life. Interesting in my world is just a nice way of saying it’snot working out.
We go through these phases where all details seem to be flowing along in a semi-coherent manner. Kids get into a routine with part-time daycare, work schedules are fairly normal, and healthy meals hit the table. There’s a few snags here and there – oops I forgot an ingredient for dinner – overall the family life clicks along.
Then there’s a week like this one. It starts with a -27 C morning where your car battery doesn’t start. You wake up the husband who just finished his night shift to drive you to work, and cross your fingers he can get the car started, or at least call AMA. Phew, handled.
Oh wait…. The kids go a little a-wall, you’re not really sure why. Likely it has to do with being cooped up inside because it is so cold. Suddenly your helpful 3 year old is now mutiny against everything from putting on clothes to eating. No pants and -27 C doesn’t really go together so that is a battle fought.
The library sends a notice about that stupid magic train book you’ve spent hours looking for. Apparently it retails $19.99… after looking under every piece of furniture, including moving one bed, you admit defeat and hand them a crisp $20. All in all, small little tasks that you handle and most of them don’t even phase you.
The largest dilemma is one I didn’t even see coming. The daycare lady decides to go back to work. Now don’t get me wrong on this – I fully support anyone working. I do it too. Without childcare though, the guilt factor kicks back in. Each time we’re again at the crossroads of daycare options, the working mom guilt rears it’s ugly head.
Do I want to leave my babies with someone else all day long? Not really. It comes down to economics, the type of life we want to live and what is possible. At this crossroads, without a few very major life changes, there is no debate. Add to it, I like what I do.
I’m still conflicted even after I tell my reasons to myself again. My mom was a stay at home mom – and one of the very best! I have many friends who are amazing SAHM or WAHM that I truly admire. I know moms who run amazing businesses in their pajamas too.
To all of those helpful people who tell me how they make the SAHM thing work, I’m glad for you, truly. The advice though I’m really looking for is how to be a successful working mom and not lose your mind.
I was incredible grateful that my aunt mentioned it to me on my recent visit to Ontario. She told me when she was where I am currently, she wondered if she was doing the right thing for her kids. Years later, now that both of my cousins are older and attending university she asked them what they thought about her working mom status. My cousins said she loved going on the vacation and doing recreational activities she enjoyed as a result of her mom working. So maybe this path isn’t a bad one either.
I don’t have all the answers, so meanwhile I will try and lessen my guilt with movie night, snuggles this weekend. Monday will hit the ground running again trying to solve the dilemmas of finding child care and whatever next week throws at me.
Do you do the SAHM, WAHM or working mom thing? Tell me more in the comments. How do you make it all work in your week?