Twitter is full of useless tweets about things that are not important to the general population. Someone’s homework, the weather, sports games, current events, politics, etc. – all completely useless to me. But every once in a while, a tweet about fortune cookies comes along, and I absolutely lose my marbles. Here are 15 fortune cookie-related tweets that I felt the need to both comment on and share. Enjoy!

Overheard at a Chinese restaurant: “See, THATS a fortune. Sometimes I get a parable, and I don’t want a parable in my fortune cookie!”

— Suzanne Coleman (@Cogues) August 8, 2018

1.) Because it’s called a fortune cookie, not a parable cookie – duh!

Bruh. I just got the worst fortune cookie ever.

Just lazy. pic.twitter.com/7m1NfT0Yrg

— …Go to Bed (@CoreyShrug) August 13, 2018

2.) They’re writing thousands of these bad boys a day, I don’t blame ’em for this. Plus, one less (probably) bad fortune to worry about. Next!

🤔😢 well wasn’t expecting that in my 🥠 fortune cookie pic.twitter.com/YydEnA2ja2

— ..🙈 (@cyberco) August 10, 2018

3.) This is somehow both a good and a bad example at the same time. Wild!

My fortune cookie had no fortune in it 😯

— Benjamin Light (@benjamin_light) August 11, 2018

4.) Looks like that last fortune cookie was right.

patty: *reading a fortune cookie* if you kill a killer, the amount of killers in the world stays the same.

ben, with a mouth full of take out: kill two.

— incorrect as it is (@incorrectaii) August 11, 2018

5.) I’m not trying to get ahead of myself of here but I think we just cracked the code for world peace.

Just visited the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie company. pic.twitter.com/qWRXMbi052

— William C. Tracy @Worldcon76 (@wctracy) August 12, 2018

6.) Nothing particulary cool about this, but I went there once and they gave me a bunch of free fortune cookies. So yeah, do with that what you will.

Just opened the fortune cookie and it said “Jeremy…oh no…jeremy….oh no….oh no!!!” Should ibe worried. be honest

— jeremy levick (@levickjeremy) August 13, 2018

7.) Sounds like a crime was committed at the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie factory… Let’s investigate! Shaggy, you and Scoob take the basement; Daphne, Velma and I will take the master bedroom.

I still think about Joon eating a whole fortune cookie without removing the fortune from it first.

— 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖏𝖔𝖔𝖓’𝖘 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖙 🦇 (@sunflowerjinkis) August 13, 2018

8.) If you truly internalize the fortune, it is bound to come true. Scientific fact.

You will become permanent.

— Fortune Cookie Bot (@fortunecookybot) August 12, 2018

9.) A virtual fortune cookie that implies eternal youth and life? I’ll allow it.

Okay settle down fortune cookie pic.twitter.com/ZK2C5snjhy

— 🖤 papa’s fritas 💦 (@inkiiorchid) August 8, 2018

10.) Sometimes the fortune is just too real… Internalize (eat) it!

when jimin was reading his fortune cookie and it said that his positive energy was like a magnet that seemed to attract everyone and seokjin just https://t.co/ssz30uBjR9

— ً (@laughkpop) August 4, 2018

11.) I’m not entirely sure about the context of this tweet but Kpop Twitter went crazy for it so I freaking love it.

Went to the Chinese spot, got my fortune cookie and it read “The fortune you seek is in another cookie”…sonnnnn💀

— Mablo Escobar (@Marvin_e7) August 14, 2018

12.) The fortune cookie equivalent of Spongebob and Patrick selling chocolates but not being able to get to the chocolate because they had too many bags within bags within bags. Classic.

🍀My fortune cookie this morning : Something sparkly is in your future. Maybe a #Shelby 🍀 pic.twitter.com/cA2g0pQvwN

— EricHigginsLefebvre (@EricHLefebvre) August 5, 2018

13.) A little bit optimistic here but I absolutely love the enthusiasm so I’ll let it slide.

[ FORTUNE COOKIE ]

——————————————
| STOP EATING |
——————————————

— ☠️ Bonez ☠️ (@T_Bonezzz_) August 14, 2018

14.) Ok but why didn’t you tell me this before I completely maxed on this Asian buffet :/

So my Mom opened this lazy ass, good for nothing fortune cookie 😭 pic.twitter.com/ix7CfDgPKR

— Khalil Underwood (@RealKhalilU) August 13, 2018

15.) Someone took the time to write this and I respect the hustle but it kinda kills the magic for me. Be better next time!

Thanks for reading! If you got this far down these tweets of hilarious fortune cookies, you’ll probably like this other batch of funny fortune cookies! Oh, and you can make your own fortune cookie images too!