Being a mom to a toddler was exhausting. Then I went and has another kid. Now I’m functioning on a whole new level of exhaustion. 

Miss O was an easy baby. She didn’t fuss much. She was rarely gassy and she almost never spit up on me. She was always content to occupy herself, never needing me much. She was an independent kid from the start. She slept through the night within a few weeks, eventually moving on to sleep a solid 15 hours without waking once (that’s 7pm-10am for those keeping track). I know, right? So when I got pregnant with my second child, I knew that there was no way I’d strike gold twice. 

Enter Little J: He’s now 11 weeks old. The longest he has slept for one stretch is 5 hours. I think he’s done that twice. He is perpetually hungry, probably because all he does is spit up everywhere, all the time. I barely needed a burp cloth with Miss O. Now I have a kid who soaks through receiving blankets. I want to wear a plastic rain poncho like the ones they sell at Disney World at all times. He stealth pukes. You think you’re in the clear because you fed him two hours ago but nooooooo. Suddenly your lulu’s are covered in milk chunks. I’m not sure why I even attempt to dress somewhat stylishly anymore. 

His other favourite thing to do is cry. There are three main reasons he cries: 1) He’s hungry. There is no warning. He just starts wailing at a level 10. I refer to this as “hangry” aka hungry + angry (he totally gets this from me). 2) His sister has finally fallen asleep so that clearly means he needs to be as loud as humanly possible. 3) He has to fart. Seriously. He’s a dude and he freaks out every time he needs to let one rip. What a weirdo. 

And last but not least, he’s the kind of kid who likes to keep moving. He’s that kid who needs to be put in the car seat and taken for a long drive, one without stop signs or red lights to calm down. He also loves a good snuggle but only from me. If he’s in a bad mood, the only person who can calm him down is me. This makes it very difficult to make dinner, wash dishes or even go to the bathroom. He’s not overly fond of daddy when he’s in a bad mood so I can’t leave the house for long stretches of time nor can I do things like sit down and sew something. It takes me days upon days to sew something as simple as a burp cloth. 

I’m exhausted. Contrary to the title, I haven’t started drinking although I do ponder it from time to time. It hasn’t even been 3 months since this cuddly bundle has joined our family and I’m already exhausted. It will only get easier as I learned with Miss O but in the meantime, I struggle. No one ever said being a mom was easy but some days I wish this feisty little Leo would cut me a little slack. It’s usually on those difficult days that some old lady says to me, “I miss those days. Enjoy them while you can.” Maybe I will feel that way one day, but today is not that day. Today is the day I want to slap an old lady for saying that and for berating me when I roll my eyes. 

We’ve gone this long without a full night of sleep. Part of me hopes he keeps this up right through the 4 month sleep regression so that I hardly notice we’ve hit that joyous milestone. After that, I just want a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And perhaps an entire day of shopping without a whiney toddler and a screaming infant in tow. And a 6-pack of beer.

Rest assured, tired moms, you are not alone. I am with you in the trenches. Knowing I am not the only one who feels this way helps make me see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the beast has awoken from his slumber and I must tend to him before he starts screaming, barfing, farting and wakes up his big sister. Again.